


A new restart

by rafaelhscal2019



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafaelhscal2019/pseuds/rafaelhscal2019
Summary: After Hannah Baker's trial and funeral, everything at Liberty High School changed, but someone watches everything that happens, but without showing up. When new tapes are found, questions are raised: Did Hannah really die? Clay gets a family visit .... Things get worse when they find out that the cemetery tombstone is empty ... Clay begins to wonder about that and the other whys as well. Maybe it's time to leave grief and grudges behind and maybe meet Hannah, who may be more alive than they think ...
Relationships: Chloe Rice/Bryce Walker, Hannah Baker/Clay Jensen, Jessica Davis/Justin Foley/Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Chloe Rice
Kudos: 11





	1. Tape 8,Side A

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Um novo recomeço](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/533806) by Rafael Horta Scaldaferri. 

> Dear readers who read this fanfic one day, allow me a few words. I thought about this fanfic, based on the series 13 Reasons Why in a curious way. I saw the series, I liked the story, the cast (which I dream someday know) but I'm not sure why I chose this series and not another. It's something that came from the heart, just the story of Hannah, Clay and all the youngsters enchanted me. That mix of friendship, grudges, love, forgiveness and social and emotional issues fascinated me Yes, a fanfic as big as a book, as the ideas fly, cross my mind, the scenes mount, the lines come. I saw the first and the second season so I try to be as true to the spirit as possible. I also discuss social aspects and American culture in general. Sometimes I used ideas from scenes or excerpts from season three that fit the narrative axis I created.
> 
> If you ask me, when will it end, this is an answer I can't give. Maybe maybe fifty chapters, or even longer, as far as my imagination allows. I'm more and more in love with what I write, the characters, whether the that already exist and I have expanded, whatever I created. Libertyty High is like a microcosm of life, and all its characters show it, with their qualities, defects, fears, courage, loves and hatreds.
> 
> I thought of the story in four parts or five parts, namely:
> 
> \- Chapters 1 to 14 - It's Hannah's return, here we know how she survived, why she hid and how a person who goes through so much trauma tries to return to the social environment. And we also see her reconciling with the old whys. Friendship returns.
> 
> -Chapters 15-28- Here, Hannah meets new people, relationships with her old friends, and reconciliation takes more shape. We see more of each character's daily life
> 
> \- Chapters 29 to 42- In this part, the conflicts are deepened, each character's background is more prominent and issues are resolved. As for Hannah, she is more confident and needs fewer and fewer disguises. These are the longer chapters.
> 
> Chapters 43 through 56 Here is the action part, two brief mysteries occur, and the group and school begin to effectively put villain Bryce Walker against the wall. These are chapters of events such as birthdays, parties, and carry a more dynamic sense.
> 
> Chapters 57-70 - End of the Mysteries and Conflict Resolutions of the Protagonist and the Other Characters. There will be final parties and celebrations here.
> 
> If more chapters come, I'll let you know.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as it is being done with the utmost care and care. It is a project that has been a big reason of my life for this time. A hug from the author. And embark on this fascinating story that will probably never end
> 
> Especially since we are in the middle of Yellow September, and we can prevent several Hannah out there from trying to do that. I also want to look into that. Characters go through very real tragedies and dilemmas and perhaps literature is a way of exercising our empathy, our sweetness, our kindness to each other
> 
> 13 Reasons Why must be a story, which despite being sad and tragic (be tempted, as aquina fanfic, be consummated, as it was in the series), must be primarily of reflection, kindness and forgiveness.
> 
> Ah, one last piece of advice I know the fanfic is long, so for ease of reading, imagine each part of the story as a season
> 
> season one and season two - consider those from the original series
> 
> third season- Chapters 1 to 14
> 
> fourth season -Chapters 15 to 28
> 
> fifth season -Chapters 29 to 42
> 
> sixth season-Chapters 43 to 56
> 
> seventh season-Chapters 57 to 70

Hello again, it's me, Hannah Baker. Yes, myself. Live and in stereo. It can accommodate you wherever you are and fine tune your cassette player or any device you want. But many must be thinking, "Am I not dead? .. No. I am not. The 11 reasons I didn't win the battle. But then I Anyway, the problems of that school go far beyond the whys of the previous tapes.

And yes, if you're asking, the rules are the same. Simple and straightforward. Listen to them all and move on to the next person. When you're done, put them in the mailbox and you can send to the next one. At number 13, this time don't send to hell. But at a proper address I'll pass. Yes, if that satisfies curiosity, I'm in Crestmont. Where? Who knows. I can be anywhere on the map that is next to the box. I can be anywhere on the map that is in the box. As can only be my voice. I watch everything that happens. I saw the judgment. I saw my funeral. And believe me, I'm very much alive, more than you can imagine

But unlike the previous batches, there won't be 13 complaints, but 13 findings about what I saw from each of you. After all, a few months have passed and some things have changed, right? And how I survived? You will know much later. Friend's warning. Don't try to cheat. Like the others I have copies of these too. And they may be used at some time in public if the toilets are destroyed. Be careful, my people. And don't worry. it's bitter like the previous ones. At least not so much.

Which doesn't stop me from saying what pleases me or not. These are just comments I made from each of you. If you like it, okay, if not, patience, nor did Jesus please everyone. I tried to be more sincere and balanced this time , especially after seeing the hell you caused me on the previous tapes. I'm getting better, and you can get compliments and criticism when I think it's appropriate. Especially for those who called me or whatever I call crazy bitch.

But who should be listening to these lovely new strips might be wondering. How did she save herself? Calmly, unhurriedly, we're just getting started. At the right time I talk about how and when. Well, where should we start:

Oh yes, for the events that followed my say death. It's comfortable, I hope so. Take a juice, a hot chocolate or a snack and relax. This is the story of my second life. or maybe better said, of my return to life. Let's start with the complaints of that disgusting bully. Yes, I imagine you already know who I am referring to. The one who withdrew all my joy in life, which I am trying to recover. I've been thinking a little about that, maybe forgive those who hurt me. With the exception of my beloved Helmet, which never hurt me and that disgusting one, which I would go to hell. that can't be cited on these tapes that I wouldn't mind seeing again.

You can be sure, all of you who hear this tape, that I know what happened at the trial. And I will be very honest; I did not expect you to mostly defend me. Thanks for that. But ... it was not better to have that attitude while I was alive: Calm down, I'll talk one by one ...

I didn't expect the guy who gave me the first kiss would still defend me. And even more, I could understand what was going on at that school. I saw, I saw you wallow in drugs, drinking, smoking weed and going crazy. It has helped you even more from someone who has referred to me as a crazy slut. Yes, Justin, as in previous tapes, the first one is you ..

Clay was still shaken from the latest events, but lighter. He took a shower and moved to school. He listened to more tapes. He thought: What do you mean? It wasn't just those 7 Hannah tapes. By the way, you died, how can it be? that?

The boy was confused. These tapes were not the copies in Tony's possession. No. They were new tapes left at his door, just like the old ones Numbered in blue paint and everything. But there was a difference. One. The numbers. From 8 to 14. He listened to the first tape. Her voice was unmistakably Hannah's. She was alive. How she was rescued?He didn't know: Did he actually have time to save her and no one said: And like the others, it started with Justin.What the fuck! he thought.He listened to the tedious history class, in which the teacher played a movie about Vietnam and fell asleep. He went out and went to the courtyard.

Yeah Justin, it seems that everything that happened at Jess's party turned against you. But it would be unfair to compare you with that friend of yours. Incidentally what a bad taste you have for friendships. You and honestly, I could have prevented that. But we didn't. Fear? Cowardice? Lack of care? In any case, I don't hate you, Justin. No, how could I hate someone who gave me the first kiss? Your family life is hard, just like the day I took care of you. "And in court did you remember that? Maybe I'll come to you for an hour just to say thank you." Point A-1. Eisenhower Square. Remember this place? I know so, this is where it all started..Remember this place? I know so, this is where it all started on those other tapes. A kiss, yes a mere kiss at the end of the slide, caused a whole whirlwind and to make matters worse, Justin, a photo, an innocent photo, that started all over. that hell. Just because I was skirts on a slide and by chance, a part of my panties was on display. It was enough for millions of stories to show up. And you just put more gas in the fire. to burn you too. And you know, you're a sweet boy, lost, very wrong, and even stupid, but who wouldn't be, with the shit you had? Now I see that. I even tried to help that day, you remember. "The day you were so tired, so destroyed, that even my bed offered you. And if any perv is listening, no, that's not what you think. I slept on the floor and Justin stayed in my bed.  
And now you're under arrest, paying for agreeing to what the damn Bryce did. You should have protected Jess. I could, but it was freezing. Fear freezing. You tried to get him off her, but you gave up. And I hope that you can pay your mistake fairly. You did hurt me, but others hurt me a lot more. And you can be sure, every wound you hit me came back to you.

Clay stopped listening when he got home. He hadn't talked to almost anyone that day. But he wondered why Hannah had recorded other tapes. As it turned out, those tapes were recent.

"Never mind, then I'll think about it," he said. He put on Crestmont's uniform and went to work. That day, everything went smoothly. A client wanted more butter in the popcorn and the boy did the same way Hannah had taught him. He missed her, that humor and that usual joy. She called him the Helmet. And she called him that because he went to work on a motorcycle, even though he usually rode a bicycle. They were memories that would never leave his mind. His great friend and his great love, which for him were lost forever.

The clock on the wall of the counter was ticking 8 am.It was almost time to go. He swept the floor of the cinema, removed the gum stuck to the chairs and hit the spot. At that moment, the place was empty, until he heard a familiar voice:

"Helmet-Come here!" It was softly, almost a whisper.

I couldn't believe it. Only one person called him by that nickname. Could it be ...

\- Whoa, who's there?

"Stop being silly, Helmet, it's me." "Did you see a ghost?"

Yes, Hannah. Long brown hair, bright blue eyes, and her usual jacket. In her hand, a long, red-haired wig and dark glasses. The boy was confused, but he felt he was herself.

-Hannah, it's you: -You are alive! I do not believe.Is that you? How?

-Shhh.Don't talk so loud, Clay. I can't show up yet. But it's me: Do you doubt?

"Why are you missing? I can only be dreaming. You should be in a coffin."

"That coffin was empty. But I can't talk about it now. Do you really think I'm a ghost?" She smiled sarcastically. "Okay. Take my arm here," and took off his jacket, revealing two scars on both arms that almost reached mid-forearm

-They are the marks of the blade-At this depth you should have died.Your parents saw you dripping in blood.As you? ..

"Yeah, you're right," she said, sitting in a chair. Yeah, but it was close. But I won't tell you that now. It's too long. How are my parents?

-They were devastated, but they look better ... I found it and you know that the school people now honor you and honor you

"I see. Mom and Dad already know I survived. And a long time ago, Clay." Only this I speak better on the tapes.

-And the school people even made a memorial in their locker. By the way, it was from a nice young girl named Nicole Ryder, but she changed and now locker 123 is a memorial.

"I know that, but I don't know if I like it that much. I appreciate a few. And I must say that some of them I wish I could talk to again. But you're the one I trust the most... And love, Clay." Forgive me for not saying that I survived before and made you so bad. You have suffered so much for me.

-You can't imagine how much I suffered from your loss ... I was afraid to forget you.And more afraid to let you go.When you came back.I never saw you ...

"Wait Clay," she gently held the boy's hand. "The important thing now is that you know I didn't leave you. One of the reasons that made me stay alive was you. But I can't give you more details. I just came here to see you." yes, once again forgive me for making you suffer so much. You don't deserve this ..

-But I was afraid to forget you, with all that happened, my mind, my soul just thought of you ...- I don't know if you understand ..

"I see, yes, I do," Hannah said, tears in her eyes. "I would never forget you. The first person I would say was here is you. After my parents, of course. But make sure. Helmet, very little you don't." lost me forever

-I was so scared, just trying to think of a way to get revenge on that wretch that ruined you.And at the funeral I let you go

"I know. Forget it, you wouldn't." He gave her a caring look. "Neither do I." As they say, so remember. As far as you are talking, I never left. Crestmont. Only that I disguised myself after I left the hospital. I couldn't show up, Helmet. And you didn't see me, because it wasn't time. You let me go, but you didn't know I was still here.

"Why did you do that? You mean the funeral was all a theater?"

"I'll tell you later. Anyway, you got my tapes, didn't you?"

-Yes, another one like those other

"These are different. The order is very similar, but you will see that they are different."

-Where do you live?  
"I can't talk now, but I assure you, sometimes you'll find me at home. Dad and Mom know I'm alive now as I just told you. I just asked them not to spread it. I stopped by to see them." Tony knows it too. But I want it to be just the three of you for now. The others will know little by little.

"I must be going crazy, but that's fine. I keep it a secret."

"I know you're going Clay," she smiled.

"I love you, Hannah, sorry I didn't tell you while you were here. I tortured myself missing you. I wanted to bullet that bastard Bryce, who did this to you. And the others also made me very angry."

-You already said that-and giggled-Forget it. That fdp had what it deserved. And I hope that mofe in jail. But do not become a killer. that they did for me.That I'll tell later on the tapes.Listen all

-Alright

-If you need me, look for me here at the cinema, or in my room.I'm late at night before dad and mom realize.I was happy with the case won, this money will greatly help the drugstore

"So you didn't show up before?"

More or less But then I promise to tell you everything. Live or in stereo ....

"You are your craze," he laughed lightly. Take care of yourself and kissed her on the cheek

"You too," and disappeared into the darkness at the cinema.

Clay closed the doors of the Crestmont, took his bike, and drove around town. He arrived at Eisenhower Park. He sat on a bench that used to sit with Hannah. She was there. No, not this time. But seeing her again gave her some relief. She took off Tony's cassette player and listened again.

Justin Foley, Justin, Justin, such a handsome boy and such a wreck. He walked with the wrong company, didn't know how to choose friends and even left his girlfriend in hand. But, relax, you're not bad. . Also because it was he and Tony that took you off the streets where you sank deeper and deeper. Good choice. Clay is a good and decent boy, and I like him very much, you should know that no: Much more than the kiss he gave me, he gave me affection, affection and support. But I followed that legal mischief. I saw it. in a suit and tie to give a statement. And you defended me. That I thought was cute, but a little weird. Why would you defend me, I don't know. Not to mention that you protected Jess, finally bringing clarity to that case. What's good for you, that alpha male stance gave me and disgust. And did you see what you got out of it? A few months watching the sun rise And sometimes I think it was good for this whole trial to happen, because this school has to be reformed at the very root. What a horrible culture that athletes, I'm the badass-I-can-pick-up-do with girls. Why, it's silly to think I'm the only one. Or to Jess. No. You saw, Justin, you saw what your little fucking playboy friend did, and what you got: Yes, a big house, a pool, that Bryce's parents helped you with. But you turned what? A puppy, a You really wanted to play macho when you showed that picture to your friends, but you ended up making my life a nightmare from that moment on. If you were aware of it, I really don't know. And worst of all, I was enchanted by you. You really have the gifts of bewitching a girl, be it your charm, your mischievous look or your smile, damn smile that I will never tire of repeating.

I'm glad you're at least starting to be a decent guy. Because I tell you, if there's one thing I hate the most is an idiot. I've met a lot and you're not the first and not the last. But you have fixed yourself and even become friends with my beloved Helmet, you deserve a little credit, after what caused me on tape 1 of the previous batch. I wish we might see Justin. for girls and not like frog. Anyway, you're the first one I'm going to talk about. The others will have their sides as well. And each one will have a reserved moment.

Something you must have grasped it all, I guess. Never let a girl down, Mr. Foley. Or better, Justy, Isn't that what Jessica calls you? Or did it, because after what you stopped doing, I don't know if she will. Listen to you again. Well, you love her, even in your crooked way. Only she's with Alex now, and you've lost it. More on other tapes, dear Justin. You deserve a more detailed talk on later tapes.See you later.


	2. Tape 8,Side B

The pain of a broken friendship is something that lasts, don't you think? How bullshit can trigger such a serious consequence. A stupid list, a slap in the face, I have not forgotten. But let's stop it. I believe it now, with my head Even though maybe, just maybe you don't see me like that. I don't know. What I do know is that I failed you when you needed it most. That day of your party, it hurts me to remember yet. I froze, I couldn't get out and bring that guy down. I was drunk, weak, scared. What night was that? But you had a good time. At that winter prom. Good thing I could do something to help you. Watch out for Justin. Yes, Jess, this side of the tape is about you.

For location, folks, star B-2 on the map. The place where you can have some hot chocolate and chatter away. Monet s. And I start by praising you Jess. I said it was going to be a little different this time, isn't it? I'm proud of one thing. You exposed this disgusting culture of these brainless fuckers, or how much more stupid-macho this school was. I felt vindicated. And to think that this was from before we went to this school. I saw your testimony and thank you for finally acknowledging my words, after several times calling me a liar on the tapes. Yeah, I recognize. I didn't want to disturb you and the Alex, and I felt and VERY out. You could have told me! Well, I also regret not going to Monet when you called me and I miss our friendship. From FML, from M's Life, from Um two three can come out of the den, from those times. I won't ask Alex yet. He has only one side of him. I had a part of the blame on that, since after you slapped me, I didn't agree to talk to you again .You scored on Monet and I didn't go. But I was hurt because you humiliated me without giving me a chance to You already know that, I don't need to dwell on it. However, now, try listening to me before making any hasty decisions or opinions ok?

Jess, tell me something. Do you think that drinking, stuffing your face will solve your problems? Ever since they think I died, I've seen how much you decayed. It was that Bryce Walker whore wasn't it? Rape, but I'd rather call it physical theft of soul, in that poetic way, that intelligent poet, but with the ego bigger than the body so much praised me. This is what I felt, as if my soul had been stolen. I needed to recover and see that you too. What I don't know is how long these wounds will last. And neither do you, I wonder ...

I wish we could see Monet as old times. But drop that drink for goodness sake! Nothing has made you worse. I know what you might be hearing. Maybe I'm being too soft on Jessica Davis, right? After she doubted me, she finally got into the axes and got me. By the way, a tragedy was needed to unite us, or at least try. People can get better, at least I didn't want to believe it. I can't be unfair. If she got it right, compliment. If I think it's wrong, I go down with the wood. And you have doubted my ribbons is something I can't pass up. "Well, you know what I'm talking about, I'm not going to dwell here.

I was very sad after that day. And deep down, I must admit, I didn't totally lose the esteem and friendship I had, even hurt and injured as I was. After Kat, you're someone I enjoyed meeting and thinking we fought for. cause of that stupid list..It wasn't even Alex who did it, but that nasty thug who refuses to name it.How angry Jess! Since that day he squeezed my ass and I got no reaction.I couldn't hit, nor punch Well, I'm not going to stretch, you know that on tape 1, side B. For what you're missing, I'm talking about the Blue Spot store, where I buy chocolates with nuts almost every day. On the map, follow the red star C-3. And let's be fair, Jessica Davis, you're so much prettier than me. But much more if we're going to talk about effectively physical beauty. I'm a simple country girl, simple, who walks around in a jacket , flowered skirts or jeans and hat on the head, well not to get attention

But ... Do you remember that day? Jess.That I never joke..And to think I kissed you both.What a strange feeling.Kissing both friends.Well, at that time I got into the joke.But it was good, I admit.You are very beautiful and Alex is not ago.Ah, and for those who have been listening and think they had something else.I'm sorry to disappoint once again who still believes those absurd stories.As Justin, we just kissed.Will not tell me that at this stage, nobody here from Liberty Didn't you experience a kiss? Please, when you're young, we live every thing. But to the curious, forget it. It was just a kiss. That's it. By the way, how funny are they? People prefer to believe what they want, especially in today's world, full of Facebook, Instagram and other social networks. They prefer everything, and the more outrageous the story, the better. Everything except the truth. And we know what actually happened. Isn't it Jess?

As Clay listened to the tapes, two blocks from the Bakers' house at Blue Spot, Hannah would come, as usual, to buy a bar of nuts and chocolate. She remembered that place, joyfully and at the same time in pain. which was raped on her body for the first time. But she was a little relieved. She was undisguised, because the store was empty, and since Bryce had been arrested, she was no longer so scared. on the front shelf. She chose a medium chocolate bar with nuts and nuts. She paid and left. But not everything went as expected. In a hurry, she forgot to disguise herself and was spotted by her old boyfriend, Zach Dempsey, at the turn. from street.

-Hannah! -He called-She ran in a hurry-Uh, how strange, I must have been mistaken.Hannah died a few months ago, can't be her-But that silhouette ... I've seen it before ...

"What's up man, are you crazy?" Said one of the boys, Larry Mathis, a newcomer to the baseball team, taking Bryce's place. And he was as dumb as he-Hannah? Ah, you're talking about that girl who killed himself. he said, holding up a huge bottle of beer. He was in the company of four other boys, as drunk as he was.

"No, I don't? But it's weird .. No, I'm sure it was her-I know those brown hair, that jacket," Zach said, scratching his head.

He went home very thoughtfully. He had listened to the two batches of tapes. He already knew he was alive, but was slow to believe it. He had not seen her. When he arrived he saw two notes pinned to the door of his house:

And it was Zach myself. But don't look for me now.

I'm glad you saved my letter

Hannah

I must be going crazy-Hannah is dead. Someone's kidding me. Unless ... If those tapes are really true ... So ...

The phone rang. It was a message from the number ... from Hannah! - it paled. Whatsapp's ring rang:

No kidding, Zach, I live. But some people shouldn't know that. I told Clay and my parents, and other people. You can tell some people later; But I ask you, don't spread it. I can't show up now. Our last summer was wonderful. Well, I feel like one hour we have to talk. And don't show that message. See you later. Emoticon of joy

Clay left school at that time when he met Alex Standall, a little different. He didn't look sad anymore, and his hair was dark, not platinum blond. He greeted him.

Hey Alex?

-Hey Clay, alright man?

-Look, I can say that. But..you already know the ...

"New tapes? Yes, yes, I heard them. Look, honestly, this is crazy. Is Hannah really alive?" Alex said incredulously, as was his way.

"If you just tell Jess, I'll tell you. The boy agreed. I met her yesterday at the movies."

-Oh really? You're kidding!

-No. At first I thought I was having ... attacks. Or visions ...

-Like the ones you had last year: -and laughed

"Man, it's not funny," Clay chided. "And you know how I suffered."

"True," Alex said, sitting on a bench, setting down his backpack. "That was very shocking. I never thought it was going to end like this."

"No one ever thinks," Clay said. "I know. First you fell into the pool at Bryce's house and then shot yourself."

"The fault was huge, Clay. You know we were very close friends. Jess must have told you that."

"I know. But you can be happy now. She's alive."

-Look, I'm just going to tell Jess this. I believe Hannah just wants some people to know. But one thing I don't understand ..

"I wonder what," Clay replied, his tone a little suspicious.

How did she survive? It was amazing. It's almost a movie script, ”Alex said. Almost everyone already knows that, say.

"Can you tell me?" Clay asked.

-No, no.Listen to the tapes and you'll know.Well, now I have Music class- We'll talk later

-And I have French. What a difficult language that one with those erres-and laughed

-See you

\- OK

Clay was thoughtful. So everyone knew how Hannah survived now but him. How did she escape after cutting her wrists? Yes, she had shown the scars on her date yesterday, but that was something he didn't understand. ask Tony, who happened to drive around there. The friend had PE class at that time.

\- Clay, in the moon world again huh?

"Oh, hi, Tony," Clay said absently.

"Are you okay? Sounds a little nervous. Not even again."

-No, not your impression

"Have you listened to Hannah's tapes? The new ones."

-I'm still on Monday. And tell me one thing. How is Hannah ..?

"How did she survive? I won't tell you. She asked few people to know that," Tony replied with a slight smile.

-Why?

"Because she told me it was better for some people to think she was dead. Only some deserved to know that it just happened."

-She said she's watching everyone ..

-Yeah..

"But I don't see her at school anymore."

"You can be sure you've seen it, Clay." One more time

"What do you mean? Tell me," Clay insisted.

-Nananinan no. -Tony made a negative with his finger-Listen to the tapes and then look for me.That if she no longer sought you

-Already at the movies yesterday

-And I imagine she told you the same thing

"It was. Nothing and no one wants to tell me. Damn! Will it be a repeat? I'm sure I didn't do anything bad for her anymore."

"You can be sure. And you can see that these tapes are remarks, not grudges. You must have noticed."

"Okay," said Clay apathetically, "we'll talk later."

On the way was listening to the tapes

I'm still with you Jess. The ancients say you should drown the sorrows in the nightlife and drinking. And you're doing it. Jessica, a beautiful girl, with a military father, a very rigid but so fragile creation inside. Think about it, is that helping her? Bryce used you in every way possible, taking advantage of his addiction. I've never been to alcohol, and I've been pretty bad about it, at your party for example. Too bad, Jess. labeled a drunk bitch. You see what it's like to be labeled ... Anyway, I'm never tired of repeating. When you're a girl who makes mistakes, gets crucified. When you're a boy, people throw water at the fire, Most haunted I was when I heard about that box of polaroids. More explosive than my tapes. And to think it started with that trainer Rick. Disgusting. How do these bunch of muscles think they can do anything they want with us? Jess, you and I aren't the only ones, not the last ones. I didn't tell you, but Bryce took me to that one. How's the name: Club House and there he tried to pull a kiss from me forcibly. He even wanted him as a friend, but then he didn't want to see that asshole or paint. gold.Still before the store incident, I still had something, at least some kind of consideration, but then, after that, oh crap! I hated that guy! Sorry.I'm freaking out and it's good to stop. this has already been resolved. We'll meet Jess soon. End of the first tape, guys.

Alex actually told Jess about what Clay had told him. The girl at first was a little confused. She even thought Alex was going crazy. Jess was very skeptical and after breaking up with Justin, she got even more. She decided to let it go. his whiskey canteen and took a sip. It was too much to bear, she thought. My ex-boyfriend was now an addict, I'm still shaken by what Bryce did to me. I'm trying to go back to school and now Alex tells me That Clay saw Hannah. What nonsense. Hannah died months ago, I went to her funeral. But what about those tapes? It doesn't make sense, but ... She started rambling until the phone rang.

"Jessica. Jessica Davis," she answered.

“Hi Jessica, how long have you been?” A female voice was on the other side.

-Who talks? -Jessica didn't recognize the voice very well.

“Drinking again, Jess?” The voice said. “That's not good for you.

“Who is it?” She repeated angrily.

"Not yet. Let's talk first what we always say! One two three can get out of the hole. FML!"

Jessica stopped. It was Hannah's motto, Alex and her, when she was going to tell something about Monet. But only they knew that ..

"How do you know that? That's the motto of ..."

"Jess, I can't believe you forgot about me. You know how everyone thinks I died. But no, I'm pretty much alive. And seeing everything you've been doing. If you doubt it. Look at your mobile number."

-Hannah ..- she said -I'm now recognizing your voice.It's not possible..That's not ...

"Will you doubt me again, Jess?" Hannah said from the other end of the line. "I never doubted you. Alex must have told you that already. Clay saw me at the movies. When he wants to go see a movie, Maybe.I'll be back to work there

"Why are you calling me, Hannah? Is that really you?"

"You can be sure, Jess. You're not dreaming. Well, sometimes the dream is more real than reality. So if you want to understand it like that ..."

-As well?

"Whether you want it or not, you're someone I never really lost friendship with, even if you didn't believe me. I wanted to meet you both again. Alex and you. In our office."

\- No Monet s?

"Yes. And don't worry. I made arrangements for just the two of us or at most a few people to be there. I can't show myself to the world yet."

Why didn't you say anything after that incident?

"I had my reasons. And for all that was going on, I thought it was better," said Hannah. "Well, Jess called you for it. Tomorrow we'll make it better. And please, drop that damn whiskey. If you think it's going to drown your aches." It won't. It will get worse.

"But," she said a little dizzy, "give me if I want to drink! It's good ... Wait, like you .."

"I can't tell you anything, Jess. Wait for our date. You'll know."

"Ah..but ... it doesn't matter! I'll keep drinking because I like it! And whoever you are-Jess didn't want to give his arm a twist-don't get into my life."

"Skeptical yet, Jess. Maybe that wasn't enough. Very well. Think and do what you think is best. I'll just say I want to see you. In Monet, after tomorrow's class-Kisses Jess-"

At the same time, Jessica called Clay, not before taking some kind of invigorating. She had been drunk too much. And she was pretty confused by all that.

\- Hello?

Hi Clay, this is Jess

-Hi Jess.Why did you call me at this time? -It was almost midnight

\- Alex was right, Hannah's alive. She just called me

"I said," said Clay.

"The phone was the same. She wants to meet me and Alex tomorrow at Monet. It's weird all that. But if she's alive, isn't she better off for good?"

\- I don't know, Jess. You know how much she was injured and hurt. I don't think she's ready. And you are so skeptical, as you first thought?

\- Is that she said something that only me, Alex and she know. The greeting One two three, can come out of the den. In addition to two other, FML and Life of M. I did not want to admit, but ....

It sounds like that phrase I've seen kids saying when they start a joke. And what is FML: She never told me about that greeting. Well, before those tapes, I had no idea

-FML Clay means Fuck my Life, as it were, ah, fuck, my life is gone. That was when we were going to vent or say something. And always at Monet, which we called the office.

\- I get it. Hannah is very full of things, facts.

"If so. Of various secrets. But I confess, I've always liked her. I think I'm really going on this date. Whatever happens."

"You can go there. Maybe it's the second chance we have to do differently," he said. "A chance we might have been given."

\- I also think. Clay, thanks for everything.

\- You're welcome Jess, I thank you for the support you have with me since the incident. And cried-The greatest happiness is knowing that I did not lose her, I did not lose her ..

-We also Clay, we too .... Kisses- and hung up


	3. Tape 9,Side A

Guilt, dear ones, is the most terrible burden anyone can carry. I know that. The guilt of not having done anything, the guilt that having done it wrong, the guilt that we could have acted differently and not. no one, I saw, took it so seriously, perhaps with the exception of me, as a boy, that I'll be honest to still call him a friend, even with all the bullshit he did, with all the drugs that stupid hot list or not be caused. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the third of the triad FML: Alex, now it's your turn

And the guilt you feel about me maybe leaving. And the surprise that you know I'm alive, actually. Where, who knows? As I've said, I may be watching each of you closely, but without you seeing that it's me. "I know what's going on in high school, and I managed not to be late. Only one person knows that. And Alex, what the hell is that? Did you really think drowning in the pool or shooting yourself in the forehead would alleviate anything?" Well… though… who am I to teach morals in that sense? ”I cut my wrists and almost died, for a little while, really trying to do what he did, Alex Standall. End the pain, the suffering, the anguish that overwhelmed me, that enslaved my soul. You and Jess broke my heart, but only now do I realize that I tried to fix it, if only a little. And you, just made a spiral that almost threw him in the same shit as me. Maybe it was deserved, like the way Christ walked to Calvary. I don't know. I had a normal creation, without religious exaggeration. Anyway, what happened, dear Alex, was something like that. But you remembered me and tried to act right, I'm grateful and happy about it. We'll see each other yet. And I hope that the FML, the one two three can get out of the den be this time forever

Well, let's put all the cards on the table. At least, Alex, you got away from that bunch of idiots, Bryce, Monty, but Zach, this one I make sure you stay. He's a very nice guy, though kinda stupid sometimes, he has a good heart. Parents say that companies determine a lot about what we are and do. Yeah, it may sound like a silly phrase, but there's your truth there. You turned away from those brutes, who are now despised by the whole school. Well done to them! And I hope Jess and you will forgive me for the damage I have caused their lives. It was not my intention, believe me. And if I'm making these tapes, it's with the help of someone who showed me. that the path of forgiveness is best for someone who has seen the darkness darken the heart and soul..I am beginning to realize and more, to exercise it.It is never easy and you know how cruel the weight of remorse can be to the point. we can't take it anymore in our own existence.

As I've always said, everything is like a snowball, or like that weird-name physicist, I don't remember, said the butterfly effect. When a pebble rolls down a mountain, it eventually turns into a huge snowball and it's hard A butterfly flaps its wings here in America and causes a tornado in Japan, such a chaos theory. Because, as you saw in the previous batch of tapes, this is true. And here it is also true. don't they influence others either? Are they wrong. We were new to school, you well know. And that's what brought us together, after all, when you're in high school, it's almost like a survival game, especially in that system. Don't think badly about me. I like or at least liked Liberty High better. But everything I went through there and finding that all this bullying, omissions and assault routines came from far away made me nervous and disgusted. , Alex, look at you. If we go deep, you've always been al You were one of those thugs and lived alone until you met Jess and me.

Remember? I remember. It was a lot of fun the way we met. You, locked up. Shy, but from that moment looking at Jess nonstop. You had been keeping an eye on her since that day. stay as a couple. And what happens: We got to meet you, we proposed you a test, I don't remember what it was now, and you passed. Nice, right? The three misfits came together lol And we were together, stuck together, almost every day I had a meeting at the Monet..Well, until the moment the trio looked more like a double and one.You know what I'm talking about.When I saw you sitting in the cafeteria together, I confess, I was afraid of disturbing and even more, seething jealous because I felt and VERY out. But you've already repeated that, someone will say. And I repeat how many times I think it's necessary. I might have had a bit of guilt as I walked away from you, but you could have told me It's not because they were dating that they had to put me aside. e and Jess were my first friends after Kat moved here. I felt lonely and needed someone to steady myself. And that's what I want in this present time. Join the trio again.

Clay had heard again after his conversation with Jess and Alex.

Maybe I'm wishing for something impossible. If it had been for a while maybe, but now someone shows me that I'm not alone. I dreaded to see it. Or at least apparently. You did hurt me, Alex, but I hurt you too. So as I said back there, you tried to do what I almost got. And on that list, I found out that was that idiot Bryce But you also had to take revenge on Jess for throwing me in this situation? And just because she didn't want to have sex with you! Oh, Alex, please, right! And you remember that I searched for you furiously in the men's locker room. And more pissed off I was watching those idiots peeking over my ass and throwing indecent comments! Like I said on tape 3, side A, it wasn't your joke that hurt me, but the fact that this apparent joke made room for scruffy and ridiculous macho men like Bryce and cia do what thu they are, and worse, judging us only by one part of the body. You now see that Jess's case has been thrown into the public. Who would say, a mere checklist, a stupid joke, can cause all the terrible things we go through, can cause suicide. ..You saw what I said about the butterfly effect? We tried this theory of physics on the skin. But before closing this recording, I would like to talk about happier, more hopeful subjects, because that's what I didn't have for a long time and now I insist First, her attitude Alex, I'm glad she's getting over it. And you're dating, very good. Do you make a nice couple and remember that I said you were interested in her? leave me out this time. Otherwise one letter will be missing hehe. Ok, I found it funny.

Now seriously.I believe for everything you went through and this school that things will change.This judgment, I don't know you, affected me a lot and I believe all of us as a whole.I decided to keep my false death because of this But I count it on another tape. And I miss Alex? I don't think it will take long for us to see each other. I miss our office and to be quite frank, your friendship is something I never failed to cherish. totally, even though I was hurt, hurt, and disappointed. I sometimes thought I couldn't eliminate all those happy moments from my life..And I wanted to go back..One more chance to the FML!

At that moment, Alex, passing by Monet to have a hot chocolate, along with Jess, At that time the place was almost empty. Only one person was there .Skye, Clay's main attendant and current girlfriend, or at least in recent months, since they were half apart. A blond-haired girl with dark glasses approached. He chatted with Skye and removed his wig and glasses. Jess and Alex were startled

"Hannah! It's you! No. How is that ... then the tapes ..

"Welcome to our office again, my friends," she said, sitting up. Why the astonishment?

"So you called me yourself," Jess said. "And that wig and those glasses?"

"This, Jess, is just one of my disguises I wear for now. But come on. How was our motto? One two three, you can get out of the den! FML, M's Life!" She greeted cheerfully. day.

"How do you appear now? We thought you were ... dead," Alex said with a hint of indignation.

“Alex, is that any way to greet a friend after so long?” She said, a little sarcastically. “Be a little kinder.

"I don't know if you can consider me friend," he said, lowering his head. "Even more so than I did to you."

-Alex, I know what you did. On the tapes I already said it all. But I think it's time for us to understand each other again. That's what I came for. And you Jess, how are you?

-Well ...- she said, a little embarrassed

"But tell me, Hannah, why you decided to make other tapes. How did you survive, the way you told me?"

"You already know, Alex," she said calmly. "But don't worry. I'm not hurt at you anymore. But worried, yes, I did. Anyway, I guarantee I know everything that's been going on these past months." As for your curiosity, it may seem fantastic what I said, but I assure you it's the true truth. Nothing to doubt my word this time. Did you hear Jess?

"Yes, I did. But ... Why are you hiding, Han? I don't understand. Wasn't it better to end this mystery? Even so, all of a sudden?"

"Well, a long time ago someone didn't call me that," he laughed. "Well, for some people, I better be dead anyway. There are some who don't even want to hear the name. But for those I value, I want you to know." I'm not going to show myself to everyone right now. Sometimes, Jess, we have to hide so we don't get hurt. Bryce may be arrested, but there are other assholes like him, as well as poisonous little girls. And I'm sick of people like that. For troglodytes like that Marcus, it's good that I'm really dead.  
Even so, Han," Alex said. "You appearing is very serious. It seems like it's made of Muggles."

"If you want to think so, Alex," Hannah said calmly, "I can't do anything. But believe me, my friend. That's not what I hid for. The reasons are far more serious than just a joke."

"What do you mean?" Jess asked.

"Jess, you listened to the tapes. They answer your question. But if you want me to say, there you go: I need some time to rebuild myself after everything I've been through. I think you understand what I say."

They both nodded.

"And this time I needed to watch you too. I didn't even know what my tapes had caused. And when I saw it, I decided to do something. I wanted to fix some of my mistakes, and more than that, to start over again."

-Then why you called us here?

-That.

“Who already knows?” They both asked.

-You. Clay, Tony, my parents, Kat and Zach..Ah, and Skye. For now, "she said, sipping some hot chocolate with marshmallows." Anyway, I spent a lot of time hiding. One hour I had to show up. Especially when they know the tombstone is empty.

"Are you serious?" Jess said, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Hannah said seriously. "Yeah, there's nothing there. I was hiding for a long time, barely showing up in town. Not to mention my parents helped with that. You listened, you know."

"Yeah, that's true," Alex said. But aren't you afraid of what these new tapes might cause?

"And what could you, Alex? The best thing is to know I'm alive. If you still can't face the truth, it's not my fault," she said

"Maybe you're right," Jess said sadly. From a certain point of view, if I hadn't slapped it, much could have been avoided. Jessica had bad memories of that.

"I think it's pointless to be sorry for what happened to Jess," Hannah said with a slight smile. "You've done it, there's no turning back time."

-I see.And you're not so jealous of us together right? -She denied-Alex was more incisive: You made our life a hell Hannah, how can you?

"I did?" She said earnestly. "It may be, but much of what I told you was the ones who teased. No excuse, Alex, you know you did it wrong. So much for the guilt that was hard to bear. And you, Jess, you shouldn't." have been hasty, could have given me time to explain myself.But in view of what you went through, that I already forgot.And answering your question, I'm no longer jealous.As far as now I know.And look she said touching Jess, you make a beautiful couple.Better than you and Justin

-Ah, after Justin did that, I'm kind of broke with him-Jess said, with an annoyed expression on his face-It's very hard to look in his face ..

"I can tell you to be careful with him. He's a sweet boy, but very troublesome. To be a boyfriend, it's not the best option. I just found his sentence heavier than Bryce's worm."

Does he already know you're alive?

"Not yet. But you will know. And personally, very soon." She paused. "That is ... if he listened to the tapes, you may know."

"Hannah, I wanted to tell you something," Jess said, taking a sip of hot chocolate while Alex sipped his sundae. "I wanted to apologize to you. I still called you a liar to Clay when he got the tapes, not to mention." what..

"It's all right now," Hannah said, nibbling on a chocolate she had bought at the Blue Spot. "It's gone. It doesn't make sense to think of it in the face of more serious events."

“How have you been living since then?” Alex asked.

"You're still trying all the menu items right, Alex," and he laughed sarcastically. "But how have I been living? Well, but for now hidden. A lot of people have hurt me, a lot more than you guys listed on the tapes. That school has a system." very hard, very cruel. You well know that, suffered from it as much as me. Mostly you Jess. And I prefer that most do not know that I am still Hannah Baker and not a body buried in the cemetery. Sometimes Alex, it is necessary to die to live again. Some people have helped me, including two professionals. It has not been easy. But for some I decided to show myself, even to resolve issues that were in the past. This time I may be running away, but it's only for a while. Until I decide it's time to show up for everyone.

"So the headstone is empty. That funeral was just a theater," Alex retorted. "At least you said that a while ago. But, how ...?" Jess asked.

“It's Hannah, how do you explain that?” Alex retorted.

"Speak quietly, please. And yes, your deduction is correct. I set it all up to get some people out of my life for good. I was just going to tell the truth to anyone I still had any affection or desire to reconcile." And I needed to help them. But more than that, I can't count here. In my tapes I explain better. And believe me, there's nothing exaggerated there.

You know, Hannah," Jess said. "In all, I still apologize to you." You were a good friend at the winter ball, even when I didn't deserve your care. Thank you.

"No need to say thank you. Only I also have to say that I couldn't stop what happened to you. And please, Jess, do you think drinking will solve anything? Isn't the scolding I gave you on the tapes enough?"

"You can say the words Hannah," Jess said. "You're talking about the rape." We've already settled it in court. "As for the drink, I don't think you have to mess with it."

"Stubborn as always, huh?" Hannah said. "It's a matter of which I have to get in. But if you prefer that, that's fine."

"It doesn't concern you what I do or don't do, Hannah," Jess said sharply. "You know that very well."

"This concerns me, Jess. If you do," she said.

“Do you both want to repeat the same situation?” Alex said coldly.

"Really, let's change the subject. Tell me about the trial, Jess."

"In any case, at least the rape case was put on trial. That Bryce at least doesn't show up here. I feel better about that," said young Davis.

-I'm relieved to hear that.But I followed everything.Every step and every move

"I know," Alex said. "Your tapes show that." But these new ones have a lighter tone, except for ..

"Three tapes I have no pity," Hannah cut in. "And you know that. But I came here to see if we can come back with our friendship. I forgive you and think that after what we have all gone through, we have no more grudge."

"I agree," Alex said. "These months have been terrible for all of us. You don't know the joy and relief I'm seeing you, Hannah. Your friendship and Jess's was the best thing that happened at this school. And me, idiot, I threw it all up. I hope it doesn't happen again

"I doubt it," said Jess-Alex, "You're more mature. I think the suffering you experienced and the remorse you felt helped you."

"I think so too," Hannah agreed. "I saw how sad you were around the corner, gnawing with remorse. I confess that at first I felt a sense of avenging duty, like, as if you had to come to see what it was. But then I got I have a person helping me get back that Hannah you met.

"In a way, it's coming back," Jessica said with a giggle.

-Right-Hannah laughed-Then M's life, FML, forever this time

“One two three, you can get out of the den!” They folded their hands on the table to form a tripod. Their voices were cheerful and now with the conviction that it wasn't going to be broken.


	4. Tape 9,Side B

You yourself, are you listening to this set of tapes ever wondered: What is being watched? Followed? Monitored? It's already a moment that I no longer felt safe in my own room. Not anymore, because you don't know if I'm in my room right now. Point D-2 on the map. The Baker's house. Upstairs Unchanged by my mother, since I almost left. But I won't talk about it now. Each of you will know at the right time. But back to what you were talking about, have you ever felt that you can't stand? out of the house without being seen? Yes, because we all see each other. The difference is that some go beyond these limits and make you feel each time like a stained glass window, an attraction that has to be seen and photographed. That's right. And another big problem is that you never managed to control your anger. It's not because someone refuses something you have to make a person's life hell. Perfectly, that part belongs to you, Tyler Down.

Tyler, Tyler, such a talented guy in photography, why was he wasting his gift? Photos are cool, and I like it a lot, but does it cost you to ask permission at least? It's not because it's the yearbook, it's your job that you can invade people's space. But I have to recognize, when you're nice, you are. I remember when we met. You were kind, complimented me and thought I was fine in the pictures. And honestly, my dear paparazzi, I liked that photo shoot. Someone already told me that I have a talent for photography. Who knows? But I think I'm too shy for that. You were nice that time Tyler, was considerate, not invasive, or boring. .You have the potential to be a great photographer. But what did you do? Thrown it in the trash.

As he began to stalk me, I imagine he was obsessed with me. Wanted me what? Affection? Love? That way? You just scared me and felt trapped in my own room. You made me fear and even despise you. I appreciate that you defended me and were even cute in your court statement, but think about what you did. This is not something to do. And to make matters worse, if it weren't for the Helmet, you would have done a school massacre, just like those nuts from Columbine. FUCK TYLER, sorry for the bad word, but why do you think this stupid idea would solve something: I've been a victim of much worse assaults and never thought of it! And more, I don't know how it hasn't been arrested! Do you think it's normal? of a wounded, scared, weak boy. Someone who just came out of a program to control anger. And that revenge on the people who in your vision deserved to be assaulted: For what? What did you get out of it? Nothing, nothing thanks.I don't hate you.I'm sorry.And maybe this is worse ...

It was the fourth tape of the same shipment. Clay decided it really was as Hannah said. The tone was softer, but there was still, sometimes here and there, reviews as acidic and harsh as in the first batch. He removed his headphones when he heard a camera sound. , Tyler, taking pictures

-Hey Clay, how are you-he asked scared

"Damn Tyler, it'll scare another one! What are you doing in my window?"

\- Nothing, Clay.Just ask..if..it's good..you listened to the tapes?

"Yeah, I'm listening. And have you given up on that crazy idea? Even Hannah thought it was absurd."

"I know. But I can't talk about it. You don't understand. Listen to my whole tape and you'll know."

-As well?

"Don't make a fuss Clay, I know you sent that picture to the whole school. You wanted to avenge Hannah, didn't you. That picture of mine."

"Yes, I did," Clay said, "and yes, I wanted to see how it feels to have privacy invaded. You have nothing to hide now."

"Anyway, that was a while ago. Know that Hannah never did this to me."

"Which is curious. Because you made her feel like a prisoner. She might as well have done something to hurt you. But she didn't. Neither with you, nor with anyone." Tyler agreed with a sad nod.

-I'm not at fault if she's more amazing than all the girls in high school.-Tyler said

"I agree with you on that. Hannah is amazing. You and the others couldn't enjoy her kindness."

Hey, wait, Clay. Don't overdo it. Hannah has always been nice to me, including she even posed for me. By the way, you're nice too. No wonder she likes you so much.

"Thanks for the compliment ... But .... How is it? Did you take pictures of her? Is that true?"

-Yes, you can hear it. It's all on the tapes. But those tapes can't be made public.

-Why?

"She's not the only victim of abuse at that Clay school. And neither was Jess, either. I've been too. Imagine the mockery you're going to talk about. Look, there goes the guy who got screwed by Montgomery! It's a little bug, no." catch no one!

\- Wait a minute. Are you saying you've been raped too?  
Exactly," he said angrily. "That damn Montgomery. I don't know how Hannah knew that but she says she witnessed the act. And it felt the same way Bryce raped Jess and raped her! Clay, Looks like this is a constant among the athletes at that school! If you want me to be honest, in that massacre I would only spare you, Alex, Jess, and Hannah if she had there. And, well, two more people.

"I suppose your friends are Cyrus and Mackenzie?"

"They themselves. They helped me when the whole school turned my back on me. And so I was going to do that Clay! It was a cry of despair! Anger! Revenge!"

-I already know that

"I would do it, Clay, I would do it ... if it wasn't for you."

"I'm glad you gave up on this crazy idea. I don't think Hannah would like it. And I know you're in love with her."

"And you too. And she loves you. Because you're a different guy, Clay." That school the problem is in this damn culture of rape and aggression. But at least I keep the pictures

Do you still make a photo for the yearbook?

-Yes I do.

Do you still photograph people?

-Now only when I have to do it. But I'm the leader of the photography club remember?

-And it's true

-Well, some things you will understand when listening to the remaining tapes .. I can't tell you anything else

"It was a miracle you weren't arrested with that bunch of ammo and guns. Wow, don't freak out, don't screw your life more than you already screwed.

"For Hannah, I do everything. And since you asked me, I accept. But I still don't understand. Is she alive? The tapes say that."

"If you're not a big talker I'll tell you," Clay said.

-Promise

"Yes, but she doesn't want to show up yet. Apparently she follows each of us, so the tapes count."

-Where is she?

"I don't know. She said she'd rather keep it a secret."

-I miss her so much

"I don't know if you're wise, Tyler. You hurt her too much with this invasion of privacy."

But on the tapes you'll see something you might not have imagined

-What:

"Hannah is a great girl, very nice and kind. But despite having a good heart, she's not the immaculate saint you can think of."

"I never thought that," Clay replied.

"Anyway, she not only criticizes me. Well, she makes several say, curious remarks ..." Tyler said insinuatingly;

-Okay Tyler. Do you want what: A photo?

"Not Clay. I just came here in passing." He grinned. But if you want to enjoy it.

"Another day, Tyler. Not to mention I'm not presentable."

-Anyway, that's fine.If you don't believe my words, Clay -and handed a cake of photographs -So look at these pictures

They were pictures of Hannah, with a smile on all of them. She was in various poses and in her usual costume. Jacket, flowered dresses and her ankle boots. In some she wore her signature beanie. and jeans. She seemed to be enjoying the camera, from the look she was taking at the picture. What she had said about the tapes herself.

"Where did you get those pictures? Tyler, they look great!" I was a little jealous, but I had to admit. The photos were beautiful.

\- In the same school. In the courtyard and in the garden near the cafeteria

-Oh, I remember. You take external photos for the places directory.

"That's right. And that was the day we met. I helped her open her closet and then she agreed to pose for the pictures."

"Really, Tyler, she's right. You're a great photographer."

-Thank you.I remember that day.And it was that day Clay, that I fell in love with her

"But that's no reason to pursue her. Couldn't you talk to her?" He said, with a hint of jealousy hidden away.

\- No. You know I don't have the guts. I've always been shy about it.

"Fine. Let's not talk about that," Clay said, cutting off.

"You like her, don't you?"  
Well ... yeah ... she's a very good friend, we work together, but ... That doesn't matter. Never mind.

Tyler knew how to elicit an answer. But he didn't have time to pull anything out of Clay. There was a camera noise between the foliage of the trees.

Until suddenly, again. A camera noise. Someone was taking pictures there.

“Smile!” Someone shouted.

“Who's there?” Tyler said nervously.

"Hey, don't you like taking pictures so much, Tyler?"

\- But who are you?

"You may not know me, or you don't think so, but I know you well. Let's do a beautiful pose."

"Pose for someone I don't know?"

\- You're right. You're not seeing me. But I'm seeing you.

"Stop it," he said irritably.

"See what it's like to be spied on, Tyler? It's not a very good feeling, is it? But it's okay if you want to know who I am, meet me at the school's photo studio. I think there's a special photo shoot from the last few months right now." ?

-How do you know?

"I have my means. And you can be sure you know who I am. I just haven't figured it out. At the photography club in an hour."

The photographer was apprehensive. What if this stranger spread something: What if he or she, by voice, was a girl who wanted to take revenge or bully him, as many did. Frightened, he left Clay's house, took his car and drove off. to school. It was seven at night.

Tyler went to the studio. I didn't know who was taking pictures of him, but I wanted to find out. Somehow, I felt I knew that voice and that way.

"These are the photos I'm organizing. Why did you bring me here?"

“Why, a photographer is the best place, don't you think?” And a girl approached with half-chanel hair, heavy makeup, sunglasses, and a leather jacket.

"Who are you? I don't know you. What do you want from me?"

"From you? Nothing. I just wanted to show you how nice it is to shoot."

\- Photograph?

"I love Tyler Down photographs. But with permission, of course. Which sometimes isn't my case. It wasn't."

-Wait do you know my name?

"More than that. I know a girl named Hannah Baker was hanging around taking pictures of her from her room and scaring her into her own home. I also know that she planned to do a massacre at school and was stopped by a boy named Clay Jensen." .I know many things.

-No, wait then you are ..

"That's right, Tyler, my dear paparazzi." The woman took off her glasses, her chanel wig, rubbed her face to remove her makeup.

"Hannah! So you were taking pictures of me at Clay's house?"

-It was me

How did you get in here?

"Someone entrusted me with the spare keys to some rooms I go to. Since every now and then I have to come here at night. Anyway, I'm here, Tyler. Alive and in color," Hannah said with a smile.

"Did you come to torment me?"

"No, no. And you can rest easy. These pictures I took of you are normal, nothing compromising. Until you are photogenic."

-But you ... You're not upset with me, .. are you?

"I've been more," she replied seriously. "You stole my security from Tyler and that's a lot. I was afraid to stay in my own room. You know this: You must know. After what Clay did that one." picture, you felt what it was. Although I didn't agree with that, I recognize that it must have been a good lesson. I could have done it, but I don't like it.

"Don't even remind me of that! And ... speaking of something else, would you pose for me again? You're amazing, more natural than anyone I've ever photographed."

"I appreciate the compliments," she said calmly. "Maybe so. If you ask me gently and politely, I can think about it. And let it be in a public place and by day. I liked those pictures back in the courtyard.

“Am I… erm… forgiven?” He said, half whispering.

"If you listened to the tapes, you might say so. And another thing to give up on this crazy idea you're making. So much for a tragedy here. Especially at this school, where most of the bosses here are silent. If not." were it Clay ..

"Yeah, Clay is cool," Tyler agreed.

\- True. He's amazing.

"Now listen to me, Tyler. Your work is beautiful. But that doesn't give you the right to invade my privacy. If I want a picture, I ask. And if it's for the yearbook, be discreet." Ok: Very well, the rest I already talked about in my tapes. If you want to be my friend, I will accept. That's what I said, I feel very sorry for you being like Tyler. Same. But only under those conditions. and went out the studio door.

"Hannah! Wait," he called.

She turned around. I could only see Tyler talking, teary-eyed,

-Thanks....

At that moment, Clay, hit play, put on the headphones and listened to the rest:

Wounded, yes. Weak, yes. But who knows, or better no doubt it's not just your fault: You were executioner, but you were also a victim. Clay furious over what you had done to me, spread that picture of your skinny white ass. You know, I was supposed to find it funny, but it wasn't much different than Justin and Bryce did to me with the picture in the park. Like the previous one, I'm here in front of your window. This, D-1 on the map. How to be observed in every detail of your intimacy? Discover your hidden skeletons? Huh? Nice, no? But something I have to tell you. I pity you, seriously, you should be as helped as I am. that asshole Monty raped you in the bathroom, I felt like at that moment Bryce raped me at his house. The pain, the anger, the humiliation, the urge to end it, I felt it too. How do I know that? "I just tell you that someone very trustworthy told me. It wouldn't be fair for me to tell you all my methods. You know, if you give up on this crazy idea and dedicate yourself only to your art, who knows, and I can't guarantee it, I can take some." photos with you, but as a model ONLY and at most, friend, BECOME CLEAR.

And speaking of pictures, I remember very well my picture of the sweetest, sweetest girl in high school. You know who and what I'm talking about. Really Tyler? Just because I didn't want to go out with you, you had to expose me like that. "I told you, focus on your art as you did there at court and you will have a much better future. And rest assured, I believe you now know what it is to be assaulted on your intimacy and on your body. And it is NOTHING good." It's like your essence has been crushed, your soul dead. I'm still recovering from all the trauma that your actions and others have caused me, but I don't want to feel hate. and lovely that I met that day, so we can be friends. Your machine is to unveil people, unveil them, but never expose them, rape them and hurt them.

Well, to be honest, I understand you. I've been on both sides of the issue. As a victim, but also as an aggressor. Say Sarah Carlin. Poor Sarah! In the desire to be inserted, to be popular there at Ridgeway High, I ended up hurting someone else And maybe, I hope she'll forgive me someday. I've been a reason why, you guys saw it in court. And look Tyler, I know what I say. I had to get out of there because of the problems I caused. I didn't feel good at heart and I bitterly regret that kind of attitude in my 14-15 years. I was expecting a new reception here at Liberty High. .And we were willing to be friends with you. We can all be victims, but we can also hurt and hurt others, sometimes unintentionally. Maybe we all better put a stone in it. Especially when it involves the most intimate of us all. Oops..I said we? Intimate? Yeah, but this is for the next tape ... asking for an hour and Tyler, think, if you still have any brains in what I told you ... I really, really wanted Tyler that you wouldn't throw your life in the trash ...


	5. Tape 10,Side A

In the previous tape, I said I would take care of the intimate of people. And what is more intimate than the sexual option? No, no, who thinks I'll talk about me is wrong. Especially if you leash those stupid rumors, you can stop And throw your prejudice into hell with you, depending on your religion. The sweetest, most popular, most insecure, most loathsome girl I have ever met. Yes, I tried to be her friend, and I confess I still have a little affection. Well, after I got mentally better talking. But enough of the bullshit. You know who I'm referring to. The most falsely adorable Oriental but now, no kidding, most compassionate I've ever seen. A beautiful name. A beautiful skin. A melodious voice., Yes, yourself, Courtney Crimsen

Courtney, what did I see? After exposing myself and spreading rumors about me to hide your homosexuality and I know you have a certain crush in me, from what I realized in court, you defended me. I never expected you I did that, but thank you very much. That day, you stopped not liking yourself right? I told you not to shield me from hiding from you. That made you a lot better. My God, I really cried with joy. I was really surprised. But something makes me sad. You could have done it before I tried to do that madness, which for a little while I repeat did not materialize. have you realized that a perfect image is not worth holding, and that may not reflect what you really are? My dear Courtney, I think you finally understood, after a great deal of money, that who is not honest with you cannot be to the others.

I wanted you to think that I died for a while. I even visited the memorial in my locker that they made for me. I thought it was beautiful, but I felt a hint of remorse and even hypocrisy in some messages. Instagram and fake nostalgia pay.That I do not like.I do not like profiteers, as you were.I see it is no longer.But remember the moments we had.I remember.They were brief, but fun. We drank a lot that day Maybe, until too much rsrs..Yes, that day we were going to get my stalker rsrs It turned out it was Tyler, damn life ... And culminated in that kiss that caused all that damage. I don't blame you that way. But as everything has a second chance, maybe one hour we can talk. Until I see you are with a girlfriend, Finally came out I think we have to even have those moments to reveal who we are, without fear of judgment from others ... Although I am a person oa so ... Someone scared of the thoughts of others..Clay not.He is what he is and that's it.Nerd, a little out of place, shy, but is the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met.You were very lovely He even took you the tombstone, which if you want me to speak, is empty. There's nothing there where my body should be. One more proof I'm here, live in these recordings and live in the city. maybe we'll talk about it. Just if you already supported Clay, it went up my mind again. Who knows we'll see you sooner than you expect ...

Hannah's words drifted deeper and deeper into Clay this time. She actually said as if she witnessed every step of each person portrayed. As she herself said at her movie date: She couldn't appear to everyone yet. And so she She lived, alive, but except for the closest people she was willing to forgive, like a shadow, a mist, that hung over Liberty High and the city of Crestmont. She couldn't deny that he was glad to see her alive. But the tapes also showed a recovering Hannah, struggling ever so hard to soothe the pain that was afflicting her, to forgive those who hurt her, and to structure herself as a person again. He wondered when he saw someone approaching. Student Council Director Courtney Crimsen:

"Hi Clay. Are you all right?" She asked shyly.

"Yes, Courtney..to..to..legal," Clay answered.

-Here, you listened..well..you know ...

-The new tapes..Yes, I'm ..- But-Why do you want to know that?

-For nothing, is that ... I was surprised to see that Hannah survived.

"You and almost everyone, just like last time," Clay replied, half unwillingly.

"Almost really, Clay," she said kindly. Except for three people. Three no, four.

-Who are?

"Well, you should know. The order is almost the same. But we just didn't go through Marcus."

-That guy doesn't even show up here

"And let it be far away," Courtney said in a strangely spiteful tone. But never mind. Just wanted to see if you were all right and if you were ... errr .... listening to the tapes ...

"But where do you want to go?"

“Do you have time?” She asked gently.

Now I'm free. I only have Spanish classes in an hour.  
-That.I'm also free.Then I tell you-And it started -Well, as you know, I was the one who broke the news of Hannah's death to the student council a year ago. But I had no idea she I figured cutting her wrists like that would have no way for her to survive. And I ... I wondered, you know, what she told me when I screwed her up.

"I know what you mean Courtney. From the rumors ..

"Yeah, yeah." She ducked her head. "That's the rumor. I spread this bunch of nonsense just so I wouldn't take over. So as not to scratch my perfect image. Curious, right, Clay?" When you have gay parents and you're the first one to not take over. The first to reject yourself. I was like that. Until ... that ... Hannah opened my eyes. But it was late-and she cried. Her thin voice cracked. I tried to stop the tapes myself, insulted Hannah, called her a bitch for attention, and look, even when you took me to the cemetery, I couldn't give up that pride.

"I guess I was scared. But I had no right to throw her into the fire like that," Clay said seriously.

"And you're totally right," she said, dropping her head. "Since that day, I've thought better of everything she said on the tapes, both of them, and I saw how mean I was. I know this school is cruel to homosexuals." , but my fear, my insecurity. It didn't give me the right to ... use it like that ...

Why do you tell me that?

-Clay, you're cool.-Courtney said, thrilled -A lot of people already told you that? And at the prom, you were so sad, so lonely, thinking that she was gone .. I started to feel a very big grip here- and pointed to the heart. That memorial was my idea at the beginning. I thought I'd take some of that weight off my back if I did something for her. And she ... for a short time was a good friend. And what did I do? To protect myself, I threw her into the fire. opening with you. I think you are someone I can trust ..

Courtney was sobbing, her voice visibly altered. Remembering all this made her sad, with feelings of guilt and regret. The boy gently supported her.

-But in court you acted different-Clay gave a smile -Don't blame yourself

"I know," she said, wiping her tears. "Ali, I think I went for the first time myself. And I wish I could help you. And if you allow me, I wanted to see Hannah again. And apologize." Wait, Clay, just a minute. It was from a number that was ... from Hannah!

Courtney, if you want we can see each other. We have a lot to clarify. Nice to see you now don't need a shield anymore to hide from who you are. Glad you accepted it. Meet Rosie at eight. PS:Don't spread this meeting for anyone

Hannah

Courtney thought, Hannah: No, it couldn't be. Are her rumors alive being true? But if so, if the tapes told the truth, where would she be?

“Is there a problem, Courtney?” Clay saw the girl's nervousness.

\- Nothing, Clay. I just got a message and I have to find someone

"It's from Hannah, isn't it?"

-No, no..How do you know?

\- I saw the apprehensive way it was. You're afraid to find it.

"To be honest, I have. After all I did to her, I ended up being selfish, fake, hypocritical and she was always very affectionate to me. I don't know how I'm going to be ashamed to face her again. Even more than I gave." the news of her death

"And now that you know you're alive, you're scared. Tell me, Courtney, what is it like to face yourself for the first time?"

“Why are you being like this, Clay?” She said evasively.

"Courtney, you assumed you were a lesbian. And that's what I was afraid of that hurt Hannah. I don't know the disgust I got from you after I heard that. All to ensure your perfect image. We just said that."

"Don't you dare judge me, Clay!" She said irritably. "I'm not proud of what I did, but it doesn't have to be so rude."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," he said gently.

\- No problem. But nothing you said is a lie. It's strange for those who were adopted by gay parents to have this kind of attitude, you do not think: I think that's why Hannah called me the sweetest oriental and that more because she really hates to know her. Because that was it. I didn't like who I was. I projected to others what I wanted them to imagine me to be. Now that I'm a director, I try to act in a more sincere, transparent way. at least I try ..

"So I think this meeting with her is necessary. Hannah will be able to hear you. I know that."

"I trust what Clay says." I think we better help each other out. How about prom?

"Yeah, like at the ball. You were one of the ones who hugged me. Thank you so much."

It's not hard to admit, but I think now we're seeing what friendship really is

Thanks to Hannah

"Yeah, thanks to her. But she needs and wants to be helped too, from what I've heard ..."

"Hannah. You're so hurt, hurt, and I wish I could fix those wounds in your heart ..." he said softly  
It's not just you Clay. We all think we should ride what we break

-And.We were all of us.How each one took a brick

"But we can all ride together," she said enthusiastically. "It wasn't that forced sweetness, but in a genuine tone. See ya!"

And on the way home, Clay met his mother, Lainie, talking to Hannah's mother, Olivia. They had gotten along very well since a long time and after the affair, they got closer and closer. Olivia felt a relief that her daughter was alive. even if she didn't stay at home all the time. However, she also realized that her daughter was showing little to just a few people and places. She didn't seem to want everyone to know that the whole funeral was a mere theater. listen:

It's funny how sometimes we have to hide and show the world who others want us to see. And you Court, yes I'll call you that from now on, is the clearest example of that. You hid from who you it was for a long time and it didn't make you happy. To protect yourself, you sacrificed to me. I still repeat, I really want to be your friend and even if I consider myself little. Maybe it's time for a fresh start for both of us. I liked to see you sad, I even gave you a kiss to calm down, even if you do not like girls for dating or sex. I saw that your worst enemy and your main threat was not me, but yourself. enslaved and when we do things with that, we throw into the fire even those who welcomed us and loved us the most. You were cowardly and you know it. So much so that your testimony in court hinted that you were free from all the bonds you built yourself. Just like in that tale we studied in the Literature class, you know, the Tale of Na I think that's the name of the Dickens. The ghost there, built the chains with his own actions and how many times we feel with the guy there from the Rye Field Catcher: I felt ... The sadness, the hurt and disappointment were my currents Court. Chains that are heavy to carry and even harder to break. I am alive, but I still have a good piece to say that I do live.

Living is hard, Courtney, Even more so being the way we really are. Showing us, slapping, not caring what they say about us. Well, that last part of me is still a good apprentice, because you must know very well how my reputation was shaken by several episodes. Episodes that in the end, I had less guilt than people thought I had. I don't know how to do that, but I certainly never hid from who I am. I can hide from the world , of people, but never of my personality, of my being. What I like, like, What I hate, I hate. Simple as that. Why is this so complicated sometimes? Courtney: And I would understand if it was in another medium, but as someone who was raised by gay parents, or homosexuals, as they say, have that kind of problem: And more, how can you? keep all perfect, sweet, the exemplary girl, but behind is cowardly, somber, profiteer and self-interested: Image is not all my dear and if it does not correspond to reality, it is a beautiful but superficial varnish. that the product is beautiful on TV and a real junk when live.It's the same.And that you were.I gave you a ride at the party, but getting there you would not pay attention.That when I did not use shield or take advantage of But I won't just criticize. The changes you've been through are praiseworthy. We'll see each other again Courtney and I hope, now you let me be your friend, since you have no reason to fear or hide from yourself.And I want it..See more ...

Rosie wasn't too full that day, but some students were there. Fortunately, they didn't know Hannah. Courtney was there, sitting at a table near the door. She had ordered a chocolate sundae. From the door came a girl wearing boots, a flowered dress, and long red hair. She wore glasses. Courtney thought it was foolish, since Hannah had died. How could she be: It was someone making a joke. The clock struck eight o'clock. And the girl approached. Courtney said:

“Do you want to sit, girl?” She said, in the usual sweet way.

-Thank you. Are you waiting for someone?

-Yes, um..is..friend.make sure we meet here

"I see. And how is she?"

-Well, she's ... so, very different from you ... You're the new student is not: Lily is your name right?

-Yeah, Lily Smith

-Prazer.Courtney Crimsen

"But tell me more about this friend of yours."

"Well, she theoretically died. But I got a message saying that it was her. I ... I can't talk about her, Lily. It's very painful. I just realized that I wasn't so friendly with her when she needed it."

\- Died of what?

-They say she committed suicide by cutting her wrists. But I heard there were people who had contact with her. Even a boy who was very close to her. Clay Jensen. I like him a lot too, he's a nice guy. Not like most of assholes from this school  
've heard of him, "Lily said." He's such a nerdy, polite guy, isn't he? I have some friends who study in his class.

"Yeah, yes. Black-haired, a little pale, but boyish love. He was very fond of Hannah."

"I see," said the girl, adjusting her sunglasses.

"Look, I know you have nothing to do with my problems, but I liked you. I found you a nice girl. But I'm sorry, I'm waiting for Hannah. I think I'm leaving - the clock was nine o'clock." getting empty

"Wait, don't go yet. If you could say something to this friend of yours, what would you say?"

"Well, I'd apologize for acting the way I did, contributing to her departure, and hoping we could be friends again. After all, she's one of the few who didn't attack me or discriminate against me for being ..." be ... for liking girls.

"I understand. She accepted you just as you are. It's kind of rare these days ... Oh, but ... Rosie's empty right?" She tried to change the subject. "It seems that people told me the movement wasn't going to be too big."

-Midweek is like this. Even more than in a while is test season. Well, I have to go.

"Are you sure, Courtney? Let's talk some more."

-There-looked at the clock-A part of her wanted to stay, having found someone to talk frankly

And talked a lot, until a moment, Courtney said:

"She didn't come. It was probably a prank call."

"Really? And if you know, you already talked to Hannah and didn't notice?"

"What do you mean? How was I going to talk when someone who isn't here anymore? Are you crazy, Lily?"

"No, I'm not crazy," the girl said, tugging at her red hair. "It's not because you don't see, there's no Courtney." She was going to be proud of everything she told me. Why don't you tell her directly. me...

"True, you remind me of someone ... I don't know, but now I feel that ... And wait, you told me? To you?"

"Yes, me. Your heart doesn't lie, Courtney." And it wasn't a joke or a joke. Hannah Baker, she's alive

-But where ...

"Right here in front of you." And Lily, or rather Hannah, took off her glasses. Courtney recognized those blue eyes from afar. Hannah wasn't just a friend, it was someone she'd had a crush on. People wear masks on a daily basis, I just took it to another level, Court-and removed the wig, revealing her brown hair and long

"It's not possible! I was talking to you all the time!" Her reaction was one of surprise, joy and a little strangeness.

"Yes. Lily Smith is an alterego I use sometimes. But promise it won't spread through school. I chose it today because I knew Rosie s was emptier. And with the assurance that certain people don't know that."

-I won't spread, I promise. Hannah, I'm sorry for what I did, forgive me, I don't know how ..

"Okay, Courtney, that's fine," she gave him a smile. "All you had to tell you already told. But I'm glad to see you're no longer ashamed to be who you are. I think we can be friends now."

-Friends?

-Friends-and the two hugged-But-said Hannah-I must say that I already forgiven you for the support you gave Clay at the prom you made for me. Poor thing, she was suffering so much. But I could not show myself still

"Hannah, are you aware of the commotion your death caused?"

"Yes, I do," Hannah confirmed. "But I apologize for that. The only thing I want is to live again, not afraid of being... Mistreated, trodden, deceived." Courtney, don't doubt now how you doubted me so many times. You thought my and Jess's rape was invented. I beg you please, now that we're back, don't talk about what you don't know. You have no idea how horrible this is. And you can be sure. You get frozen, unresponsive, have no strength to even speak or scream. I saw it all, Courtney.

"What I have to say: Nothing! I messed up with you too much. Maybe I don't even deserve to be your friend anymore. I doubted you until after death, let's say. And now that you're here, I don't even know how to answer you."

"You don't have to. Just understanding and not judging me is good for me," Hannah said. "Do you want something? We don't eat anything," Hannah said gently.

"Look, I do accept. Is two hamburgers good for you?"

"Fine. I usually eat more salad, but one exception doesn't hurt." And I think I'll want that truffled milkshake so famous here.

It seemed like the beginning of everything. Courtney, now freer and more free, talked to Hannah about her new girlfriend, Tomiko Sato, a Japanese descendant who had recently entered school. Hannah told of her disguise, which few people knew. she was back: Her parents, Jess, Alex, Zach, Clay, Tony, Kat and her. And actually, she preferred it that way. Her existence would only matter to those she wanted to keep or forgive. Hannah felt that as her psychologist spoke. , Dr Barnes, who could start to trust people again .....


	6. Tape 10,Side B

Do you know which day I love and hate the most? Valentine's Day is such a Valentine's Day. Well, I have always been and I think I will always be an incorrigible romantic. Even if it brings me unpleasant memories. Can you understand how the pain of being used manifests When your hopes and dreams are shattered like the splinters of a mirror and everything else you want has been destroyed And worse, when the image other people make of you is worth more If that helps, this tape is about maybe one of the people who hurt me the most. Marcus Cole, it's your turn to be dissected.

Marcus, Marcus, a smart, promising young man, the Student Council example. Someone to follow as an example, right? Wrong. At that time, I came to realize that you were as attached to your image as Courtney, but with one factor. much more serious. You pretend a lot more than her, ever thought of being an actor: Or rather a politician, as your family is: Who lives to deceive, deceive and tell people what they want to hear: I recognize you are funny and in that The meeting made me laugh a lot. But what did you really want from me? I wanted to know if the rumors were true? Yeah, that was it. You didn't care about me as I really am. With the real Hannah Baker. Just what the others would talk and then brag about catching the bitch in the class, didn't they? And we met at Rosie .C-2 on the map, folks. Nice place, snack bar with good food. So to speak the beautiful mashed milkshake!

And I, like any normal girl, expected a nice date at least, a nice night..Just you know it wasn't like that.But getting back to the disaster of our date.You arrived late and left it planted, to the point that I ended it all. the milkshake. So far, so good, we can all be late. You made me laugh, even laugh at the jokes and jokes and I thought I might like you, even if it was just as a friend. Until you made the onslaught. He put his hand on my knee, climbed up his leg and over his groin and belly. And it made me uncomfortable, invaded, assaulted on my own body. I wasn't and I'm not the bitch or the easy girl you thought I was. I screamed to stop it, that it made me sick. You know that from the tapes of the previous batch. Then I pushed you and threw you to the floor. It was funny how you blew it up. And then I saw who you were from. truth.

I have no words to say how disgusted your hypocrisy makes me. Your fake good-boy pose, so fake that even you admitted it at trial, can lead you to Harvard or hell, but it only brings more and more suffering. After Bryce, you were the worst person I have ever met in my life. And I was even angrier at the trial. You tried to blame me, disqualify me and blame it on me! don't know the meaning of the word shame and not even repentance. And if you know, because you're not stupid at all, ignore it, it doesn't make any difference to you. Isn't it? I must say that out of the 13 whys, most of them liked it Yes, but they had the courage to apologize. You did that you did nothing wrong and still disregarded me! Just like Bryce!

The pains you caused me on that date were so hard that not even Zach could cheer me up. At least he was sweet, gentle, even standing there without my attention. But he stayed with me. You, after being pushed he cursed me and still belittled me. What did you expect? I didn't give you permission to touch me like that under the table and never showed any attraction to you. Until that day, I even admired your intelligence and your good mood. has made boring classes funny many times. I never expected such low behavior from you. And yet the height of hypocrisy, hide it over a perfect facade. I learned of the punishment you did to Montgomery and Alex. you, you were going to throw it all over Alex's back, maybe. But you couldn't get out of your exemplary boy pose, would you? But what about the times you bullied Clay over the tapes: How do I know that? because I give you the benefit of the doubt. One thing I know: Practically everyone no longer has confidence in you. Even your friends dropped you, seeing the snake you are.

Clay was pretty shocked. So far, it was the tape with the hardest words to a person. If the order was the same as the previous lot, maybe except him, Sheri, and Ryan, it would come crashing around. the side of the tape showed all the anger, disappointment, and disgust for Marcus. And he couldn't think otherwise. Marcus had been accepted at Harvard, and after the trial had graduated. Or rather, he was in the process of graduating. Not even at Crestmont. At least he thought. And he couldn't fake it. He wouldn't miss him at all. And he would never listen to those tapes, maybe not even Bryce. Maybe that's what Courtney meant.

That day, he had a meeting at the high school basketball court. There were Jessica, Alex, Courtney, Zach, Ryan, and Sheri. The mood wasn't so tense, but they had all listened to the tapes. The only one not talking was Ryan, with his face on his cell phone.

"You know, I remember the last time we did that," Jessica said. "But this time I feel like Hannah really wanted to see us."

"She was different anyway. She was more like Hannah we first met," Alex confirmed. Jess, I realized she wanted to get back with us.

"Someone is helping her get better," Zach said. "Well, she said she wants to see me too."

"Interesting Zach," Alex said teasingly. "Coming from someone who broke up with her for fear of rumors ..."

"Oh, Alex, shut up," Zach replied angrily, "This is only about me and Hannah! Okay, I was an asshole, but you don't get into it!"

"Anyway, we have to admit. We messed with her and each other in a way. But it's nice to be her friend again," Jess smiled.

"How mysterious and intriguing, don't you think?" Ryan said. "What's her poetry?"

"Oh, Ryan, please. Beaches you published without her leaving," Jess said. "You know Hannah is very private."

"Look, Jess, I acted badly, I admit it. But that talent she has to show. I was intrigued when she talked on the tape about me. It looks like she wants to see me too."

"That's good, I think so too. In a way we're being tested. I met her yesterday and yes, she wants to get back with us-and please Ryan drop that relationship app for a moment!"

-Oh ok. She's fine with you because she finally took on how you are.I think it did you good

-Exactly Ryan.I think that was the best thing I ever did- confirmed the girl

\- Let's face it She's just showing us. She is forgiving us guys- said Zach

"That's good. I think we did something right for a change," Alex said.

"Good. Because she seems to want to see few people," Courtney said. "At least most of us have forgiven you, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Zach said, folding his arms. Just two tapes she was really aggressive. Marcus's, Bryce's. But the last one ... Clay, no ...

"Mr Porter's? He hasn't heard it yet," Alex said.

-As well?

-I don't know.This last tape looks like it's a bit different..I don't know

"From what I hear, that's right," Jess confirmed. "But she followed everything from the trial and even things that happened later. It really was like she said, He watched each of our steps. I just have to admit. I liked to review her." .I missed her friendship, you know?

"Me too," Alex said. "The FML was my safe haven at this school. Yet the three of us were new. And we needed to fit in."

"What I can say about her is a good thing," said Zach. "What a wonderful summer we had, and how stupid I was to hide it from my friends."

"Zach, you're a very nice guy to those thugs," said Sheri, who arrived shortly thereafter. That guy was a terrible influence on you.

-Yes, you're right. Not to mention Clay, right guys:

"Clay's different. A genuinely cool guy, cool," Jess said. "I even feel bad remembering how rude I was to him and worse, how bad I said about Hannah. And now? And Justin, will he ;;

"If he listened? I don't know, Jess, since he left the team ... I have little contact with him," Zach said.

“But isn't he the first?” Sheri asked.

"Yeah. But do you remember all that mess?" Jessica said. "I don't know if he had access to these tapes, in the state he was in. But ... who knows?"

-Yeah, it could be- said the young Holland -I'm taking care of him, with Clay, go he hears something..I haven't heard anything yet

"Sure, Sheri, you're after Clay. Well, you better remember what you caused as well."

"Alex, you don't have to be rude. I didn't even go back to that

"What? That night?" Alex teased.

"Do you want to stop?" Sheri said irritably. "Or do I talk about what you did? Before you came here."

"Quiet! Don't you dare!"

"No more people! Stop it!" Courtney asked. "In the end, no one here can blame anyone."

"Worse, Courtney is right," Jessica said. "We don't have the moral to scold each other."

"True," Alex said grimly.

-Really ... Still, we still fight with our own demons right guys? -Sheri said -I say so-After I told the police about the stop sign I got lighter. I had to do a few hours of community service, but that's fine. We have to shoulder what we do. And I ran away from it a long time.

"Our demons are even the engine of our art," Ryan said. "And the poetry in the background describes and shows, it throws out what we feel. Sometimes I think if I'd paid more attention to Hannah's poem and weren't so self-centered, she wouldn't have tried to do that. And guys, I got a message earlier

"Me too," Sheri said.

It said:

Sheri, Ryan, wanted to talk to you. Maybe we can resume the friendship that our own mistakes erased. I'll be waiting for you when you can. Or better when I want. Ryan, then meet me at the poetry club after class.

"She wants to see you," Jess said.

"She did that to me," Zach said. "But you still can't find us."

"I swear I don't understand that," Sheri said. "What does she hide from?"

"I think," Ryan said, "that she hasn't yet freed herself from what made her suffer. She still feels cornered, to show herself to everyone."

"It could be Ryan," Courtney said. She came to me in disguise. "And ... shut up before I could talk too much."

At that moment, Clay was passing by. They came to meet him and hugged him. Zach and Alex gave a friendly hello:

“Are you better, Clay?” Courtney asked.

"Yes, I am, Court. Don't worry," the boy replied.

-I wonder.How why ..- said Sheri, smiling

"She came back. Finally," Clay smiled.

"Yeah. That took us all by surprise," Jess said.

Has she met you yet?

"Not everyone. Miss me, Sheri and Ryan," Zach said.

-I understand.At least Bryce and Marcus are out

"Bryce does. But not Marcus yet. He didn't come today," Alex answered.

"Less bad. I don't miss that guy. For me he leaves the Student Council. After what he did," Clay said.

"I have already forwarded that request," Sheri said. "What he did was very serious. Well, soon, we will effect his official expulsion. Director he's not since the Court took over."

-He became Bryce's enemy, but they are very similar

"I can't talk much, I've been kind of like him," Courtney said, her head bowed.

"But it's not anymore," Clay said. "You don't have to keep reminding yourself about that." But what about Justin? Any word from him?

"Last I saw him Clay, he was leaving jail and entering a recovery clinic," Courtney replied.

"Well, he's a lot at home. Isn't Sheri?" The curly-haired girl confirmed, "It seems like my parents wanting something from him, maybe even adopt."

"Does he know Hannah is alive?" Sheri asked.

"I don't know. I really don't know if he listened to the tapes," Clay said.

"But he's first on the list," said Zach.

"In terms. Like last time, it's two audios about him," Jess said.

"Jess is right. And with all this mess, this whole fucking thing happened these months, I find it hard. Although Hannah said she'll find him again," Alex said.

-That is a lost soul, in a whirlwind even though he himself caused-said Ryan

“Ryan, can you stop being that poetic savvy at least once?” Sheri said irritably. “That's exactly what Hannah criticizes about you.

-Pardon.But sometimes it's hard to talk in terms..have .. so..vulgar.Who is a poet has it in his blood

"She wants to see you and me. At least try to be less vain now."

-Alright Sheri

"Guys, I have basketball training now," Zach said, grabbing his backpack.

"I have to go too," Jess said. "It's my biology class now."

"I'm going to my rehearsal," Alex said.

"And I have to go to German class," Clay said. "Then it's communications class, right?"

"Yes, this class we all have together," Sheri-Clay said. Thank you for staying here and talking to us. I hope you're not fighting with us.

-No, no Sheri ,, it's over, 'he said.

"I haven't," said young Holland.

"You can be sure you won't regret it, Clay," Alex said, smiling slightly.

"True, Clay, Hannah is special," Zach added.

"A very interesting soul," Ryan said. "Believe us."

"You'll see how lucky you are to have someone like Hannah by your side when you listen," Jess said cheerfully.

"I must agree with Jess, Clay. If what I am told is true, keep Hannah carefully ..." Courtney said

Clay didn't know what to say. He just smiled and said politely goodbye to each other. He was glad of what he had heard. But also a little puzzled. He went out, picked up the recorder, put on the headphones and listened:

You're like Bryce, you're a predator, but even though you're not a rapist, you're dreams, lives, and hearts. How can you sleep peacefully on your pillow? Yes, I know you might be imagining that you have nothing to talk about. His positive: It would have, if at trial he showed some kind of remorse. But I saw none, on the contrary. What I saw was cynicism and a monstrous lack of sensitivity and so to you Marcus, and even more after I knew I was your bet with Bryce, I better be dead anyway

wasn't on your $ 1 Valentine's list! You lied, you tricked me, you treated me if you were a trophy. You wanna know! You're screwed! And you better think I'm really dead. haunt your steps and your thoughts. If you still have a little humanity left, you'll think about what you did to me someday. But I doubt it. And unlike Courtney, I don't want to see you anymore. Stay at Harvard and do what you want. until people start to realize that your perfect image doesn't match the rotten reality that you are .. End of this personal tape

Clay was apprehensive that day. He had a lot to do and the tapes were getting tighter and tighter. There were revelations of things and people Hannah hadn't mentioned in the previous batch. stared at Tony's car.

-Hey man, how are you? Be careful not to get hit again lol

“Hey Tony?” He said, half off

Are you off like last time Clay?

\- Yeah..but so cool-disguised him

“Well, better than last time?” Tony teased.

\- Listen, Tony ...

“Ahnn?” Asked the Latino

"If Hannah is around, do you know where she lives? I really need and want to talk to her."

\- Not yet my plate. I can't tell you that

"But why not? I won't tell anyone

"The question is not you, Clay. Hannah is still very shaken from what happened and recovering. She doesn't want to be seen by everyone. Just who she wants."

\- So that's why she's meeting with us all slowly

\- That's it. All in her time. You have to respect that

\- Look from what I know, she's seen Jessica, Alex and Courtney

\- If she chose, who am I to stop?

"Because she won't let me go where she is," Clay said anxiously, gripping the collar of his gray sweatshirt nervously.

\- Dude, calm down. Get in the car, I have to tell you something

\- Not now Tony

"Get in the car," he said pointedly.

He got in the car. Tony had already arrived that straight way that Clay knew well:

"Clay, she's met you at the movies. Think a little dude. She met you at the place you met. And after her parents, you're the one she was looking for first. But if you're listening to the tapes carefully." , you see she is rising again. A person who almost kills himself and survives gets scars. And I'm not talking about the arm marks. She is learning to relive, to trust the one around her again. .

"But I didn't do anything to her! You know that. With me she can be quiet and show off."

"Except you're not the only person in this town, Clay," Tony said, "and more, you can't protect Hannah from everything. She has to learn to defend herself and beware, so that it won't happen again. Go I know what I say. Even more, that she saved me from being arrested, when I attacked a guy who was being homophobic with a broder of mine. Well, with me too, But if he allows me, I don't want to talk about it .. .

\- I heard about this story

\- Yeah, Hannah is a great friend and person. But she's very fragile and unstable too. And I owe her this favor for a lifetime. You have to let things happen in her time. When she wants she'll look for you

“But you can't tell me where she's living?” She said on the tapes that sometimes she's home, especially at night.

Yes. Why don't you try your luck for one hour? But remember, be careful

\- I will take.

"Good. As I said, listen to all the tapes and then talk to me. Take it easy, Clay."

\- Alright. I'll try

\- See you later - And left Clay on your doorstep

Clay walked into her house, greeted her parents, and went straight to her bedroom. Again and again Hannah's longing hurt. He couldn't even accept that she was still hiding. Maybe, and just maybe lucky enough to see her. He saw her every day, not seeing her at the Crestmont hurt. I didn't know what was worse. Knowing I wasn't there, as I had before, or that I was, but I couldn't see her. Anxiously, she tried to relax in bed. She turned on the radio, didn't want to listen to more tapes that night. would stop listening.The radio played the song they danced at the slow winter ball, where they felt more together than ever ....

Night we met  
I am not the only traveler  
Who has not repaid his debt  
I've been searching for a trail to follow again  
Take me back to the night we met  
And then I can tell myself  
What the hell I'm supposed to do  
And then I can tell myself  
Not to ride along with you  
I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you  
Take me back to the night we met  
I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
Haunted by the ghost of you  
Oh take me back to the night we met  
When the night was full of terrors  
And your eyes were filled with tears  
When you had not touched me yet  
Oh take me back to the night we met  
I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you  
Take me back to the night we met  
I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
Haunted by the ghost of you  
Take me back to the night we met

Mentally sang that song, their song, until he fells asleep .....

**Author's Note:**

> That fanfic will assume that Hannah survived."  
-It's based on the series, but I'll get some inspiration from the book's narrative structure.  
\- Despite the name Jenny Kurtz, I'll use the name of the series, Sheri Holland  
"I'll use the tapes again as a narrative resource. But there will be times when Hannah and the other characters will talk in the present tense."  
-I won't tell straight away how Hannah survived  
-There will be characters from both seasons and others I'll create  
\- I will also try to show ways of helping those suffering from depression and suicidal desire  
-Jeff Atkins is severely hospitalized but not dead  
-Fanfic start on April 2018 after bye episode  
\- I changed the order a little. Clay came before Sheri, as it was in the book  
-Some places I'll add to the story. But for the most part, they are strictly the same as the series and the book.  
\- The character Kat has no proper name in the book. I put Katherine for being more logical and a tribute to Hannah's interpreter in the series, Katherine Langford. The surname Spangle was invented  
\- The appearance of the characters is that of the actors of the series  
\- Their voice is of the actors.>  
"Consider Hannah hallucinating the show. Except in one scene. But I won't talk."  
-Bryce is under arrest, but I don't know until when ...  
"Brothers Cyrus and Mackenzie have no last name revealed." I put Hamilton in for sound.
> 
> Cast:  
Katherine Langford: Hannah Baker  
Dylan Minette: Clay Jensen  
Justin Prentice: Bryce Walker  
Alisha Boe: Jessica Davis  
Brandon Flynn: Justin Foley  
Ross Butler: Zach Dempsey  
Christian Navarro: Tony Padilla  
Miles Heizer: Alex Standall  
Devin Druid: Tyler Down  
Tommy Dorfman: Ryan Shaver  
Michelle Selene Ang: Courtney Crimsen  
Alijona Alexus: Sheri Holland  
Derek Luke: Mr Kevin Porter  
Anne Winters: Chloe Rice  
Giorgia Whigham: Katherine Spangle (Kat)  
Kate Welsh: Olivia Baker  
Amy Hargreaves: Lainie Jensen  
Sosie Bacon: Skye Miller  
Brandon Larracuente: Jeff Atkins  
Timothy Granaderos: Montgomery de la Cruz  
Steven SIlver: Marcus Cole  
Brandon Butler: Scott Reed  
Samantha Logan: Nina Jones  
Bryce Cass: Cyrus Hamilton  
Chelsea Aiden: Mackenzie Hamilton
> 
> Introducing:  
Viola Davis: Mrs. Martha Arlington  
Michael B Jordan: Dr Augustus Barnes  
Aimee Richardson: Sybil Ferguson  
Jacob Elordi: Joshua Staples  
Cole Sprouse: Larry Mathis  
Joe Keery: Trevor Sphinx


End file.
